More and more I keep on finding that God is continually redefining who I am, and what I am. Before it used to be like this. God help to do just enough, keep me from drinking, cussing, and having sex before marriage. Protect me from all suffering, keep me happy, and finally take me back home after I've lived a full life with the perfect family of a wife and 2.5 kids. NO! That's not what it's about!!! This is the way I see things now and am still constantly growing. GOD! FATHER! LORD! Even should the very world stand in my and beseech me to stop seeking you because I'm doing more then can be expected, grab ahold of me and take me deeper still. Help me to throw away from me the very thought of doing wrong and to take captive everything about me for your will. Please God let me suffer! Let me suffer so that your glory will be made manifest inside of me. Let me experience your true joy in and through this suffering, and finally don't wait. Use me, expand me. Let me die as soon as my mission is accomplished no matter the age because I want to be with you.
I struggled for a long time with this one, but I've come to realize that singleness is a true blessing and I will hold tightly to it. I don't care if I'm ever in a relationship, get married, or have a family. That is not the goal. The goal is to do the will of the one that saved me.
I'm starting to truly let him be Lord of my life. I'm starting to feel what he feels for other people. Where no one else cares I am burdened, where others are clouded I see the way. I cried today hearing about the incredible pain that a person I have never met goes through. Most of the time I wouldn't have felt anything, but I felt what he felt and heard his whisper. Am I where I need to be? No I still constantly screw up, but his grace is bigger then my goof-ups. I'm getting there.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
Lessons
Ok so I'm going to try and focus on this. I have been having some real trouble focusing in on whats important today. In fact that's one of the lessons I've learned Don't be afraid to admit you make mistakes. I do.... All the time... A lot, everyday. It's about continually getting back up when you fall.
This one probably impacted me the most. Have you ever heard God speak? Like actual no doubt this is God's voice? I have twice. Once was during a service when I felt a love so strong that I could barely move, and the other was this weekend. I was reading a verse and really thinking about it when all of a sudden I understood what it meant. I heard God's voice clearly tell me what the verse meant. It was the whisper of Jesus, and boy was it powerful. (major understatement, I usually am not that emotional, but the tears were flowing majorly)
This is another big lesson that's really been getting at me. It's Love... Just love people unconditionally. I'm having trouble with this (a lot) and also with not being angry at people. People just need to be loved, to feel like they are wanted or important. My life has already seen a huge improvement just by smiling at people more. it's really hard, but soooo worth it.
Next up is be connected to God always! and with everything I do, do it for him. Again really hard, but so worth it. (it's hardest for me when I'm at school, and when I'm having lots of fun)
Finally this one is about relationships. I think somewhere deep down we all want a relationship, and that's because we are made that way, but you can never be in a fulfilling relationship unless you are first a whole and complete person. No other person can fill a void in your life because no other person will ever truly meet your expectations. God needs to get a hold of you first. So I have decided not to worry about it. I honestly don't care anymore. God's will, will be done. If I stay single forever then so be it because I am blessed with amazing female friendships, and most importantly Jesus is all I really need. So even if the entire world shuns me I will be satisfied knowing my creator loves me (thats really hard for me because I love people, and connecting with them in everyday relationships)
All this stuff is things I learned this weekend. I struggle with this constantly, but I'm allowing the savior to gradually work in my heart, and build the qualities he wants in me. I'm slowly becoming the person he wants me to be. I'm so excited to see what he is going to do with my life. he has big plans in spite of my failures. Like Paul said I have not yet achieved these things, but I will run the race set before me. Remember guys it all boils down to one thing. Love God with everything you are, and love people the same way. I challenge you to take this journey with me and be all you can be.
This one probably impacted me the most. Have you ever heard God speak? Like actual no doubt this is God's voice? I have twice. Once was during a service when I felt a love so strong that I could barely move, and the other was this weekend. I was reading a verse and really thinking about it when all of a sudden I understood what it meant. I heard God's voice clearly tell me what the verse meant. It was the whisper of Jesus, and boy was it powerful. (major understatement, I usually am not that emotional, but the tears were flowing majorly)
This is another big lesson that's really been getting at me. It's Love... Just love people unconditionally. I'm having trouble with this (a lot) and also with not being angry at people. People just need to be loved, to feel like they are wanted or important. My life has already seen a huge improvement just by smiling at people more. it's really hard, but soooo worth it.
Next up is be connected to God always! and with everything I do, do it for him. Again really hard, but so worth it. (it's hardest for me when I'm at school, and when I'm having lots of fun)
Finally this one is about relationships. I think somewhere deep down we all want a relationship, and that's because we are made that way, but you can never be in a fulfilling relationship unless you are first a whole and complete person. No other person can fill a void in your life because no other person will ever truly meet your expectations. God needs to get a hold of you first. So I have decided not to worry about it. I honestly don't care anymore. God's will, will be done. If I stay single forever then so be it because I am blessed with amazing female friendships, and most importantly Jesus is all I really need. So even if the entire world shuns me I will be satisfied knowing my creator loves me (thats really hard for me because I love people, and connecting with them in everyday relationships)
All this stuff is things I learned this weekend. I struggle with this constantly, but I'm allowing the savior to gradually work in my heart, and build the qualities he wants in me. I'm slowly becoming the person he wants me to be. I'm so excited to see what he is going to do with my life. he has big plans in spite of my failures. Like Paul said I have not yet achieved these things, but I will run the race set before me. Remember guys it all boils down to one thing. Love God with everything you are, and love people the same way. I challenge you to take this journey with me and be all you can be.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
I'm bbbaaaaaaccckkk!
Hey people who read this! I'm back! Just got back from a week long vacation, and boy do I have some stuff to write haha. God got ahold of me big time and showed me a bunch of stuff that I will share with all of you real soon, but for now I was just in a car for 12 hours so I'm getting some much needed rest and I will update everyone soon
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